Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Amazing Lace Challenge #1: Meet the Team

Kermit the Frog here, reporting live for Sesame Street News. Today we've got an exclusive interview with Norah and Anne, ready to embark on this summer's Amazing Lace challenge. But are these two, with their long and tortured relationship, ready for a whole summer of extreme lace sports? Read on and find out . . .

Kermit: Tell me how you two met.

Norah: Anne and I met well over a year ago. I confess I picked her up for a different project . . .

Anne: Yeah, that's right. Remember that Pooling Colors scarf (from IK Fall 2004)? Remember? Or maybe, like most people, you've blocked it from your memory. Everyone was starting it, but did anyone, anywhere, really manage to finish that darn scarf? Anyway, Norah here managed to finish about 6 inches before she decided to rip me out (man, that hurts).

N.: Now, don't take it personally, Anne. I just knew that the project wasn't worthy of you.

A.: Oho! So that's why I sat in the bottom of your knitting basket for, what, a year? If I recall, I was buried under some Cascade 220 and some hideous yellow acrylic. What were you trying to do to me? That stuff just doesn't breathe!

N.: I didn't forget about you--I swear. I just needed some distance, some time to forget about that scarf! Don't you remember the anguish I went through? The awful things that can happen when you mix fingering weight yarn and Wite-Out? I was scarred, I tell you, scarred!

K.: Okay, let's let bygones be bygones. Norah, what inspired you to rescue Anne from the bottom of the basket?

A.: Achoo!

N.: Very funny, Anne. I found a pretty lace shawl pattern online--it's called Ethereal Fichu.

A.: Yeah, how typical is that? She finds a pattern for me that sounds like a sneeze.

K.: Actually, our crack Sesame Street News research team has discovered that a fichu is a triangular scarf, worn over the shoulders and tied in a loose knot. It's from the French, from the past participle of the verb ficher, meaning "to fix." The fichu was exceptionally popular during the eighteenth and nineteenth . . .

A.: Whatever. All I can say is that if she really wants to look like something out of a Manet painting, that's her choice. But don't expect me to be happy about it.

K.: So, Anne, you seem to have some reservations about this contest. What made you agree to join?

A.: The million bucks, of course.

N.: I think it was actually the publicity--check out how much she hogged the camera in our official team photo!

A.: C'mon--who would they rather look at: my one-of-a-kind merino loveliness . . . or your sorry face?

N.: I'm going to ignore that. Actually, Anne, I may have exaggerated the grand prize somewhat. I needed you to get on board, and I was worried that if you knew the real prize, you might not cooperate.

A.: I get a bad feeling about this . . . if it's not a million dollars, what is it?

N.: It's a skein of . . . Helen's Lace laceweight yarn.

A.: Great, you want to win just so that you can move on to someone sleeker and silkier. Thanks a lot. Just for that, I'm going to go tangle myself up for a while.

K.: And there you have it, folks. Will Norah and Anne be able to tolerate a whole summer of enforced togetherness? Will the flouride-enriched dental floss Norah's been using as a lifeline make for a minty fresh, cavity-free fichu? Will she have enough yarn, or will the fichu be more of a fichette? Stay tuned this summer for the answers to these and other pressing questions. Until next time, this has been Kermit the Frog reporting for Sesame Street News.


Blogger Theresa said...

Cute intro!

9:13 PM  
Blogger Jeanette said...

Kermit did a wonderful job reporting! And that shawl is gorgeous!

9:46 PM  
Blogger Jofrog said...

I have some Anne that I got ages ago from Alison. I searched forever for the perfect shawl pattern for it and ended up with the same one! Crazy stuff, knitting soul mates perhaps?

10:08 PM  
Blogger Devorah said...

Thanks for the laugh! Good luck with the Fichu.

6:25 AM  
Blogger Thea said...

I'm a little worried about you... but am looking fwd to watching your lace project appear! And hearing from Kermit as well.

8:52 AM  
Blogger Helen said...

By far the wittiest intro I've read!
Thanks for the intro!

8:54 AM  
Anonymous Rachel said...

Great report, Mr. Frog! I hope this team's obvious hostility doesn't hinder their success in their task. We'll look forward to your follow-up stories.

7:44 PM  

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