Amazing Lace Challenge #3: Poetry (or, rather, Parody)

Completely lacking in originality, I am forced to resort to parody for my next entry in the Amazing Lace Challenge. With abject apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning, I present my entry. Actually, I like to think that old Betsy wouldn't mind too much--doesn't it look like she's wearing a fichu of her own in this picture?


How do I knit thee? Let me count the ways.
I knit thee to the depth and breadth and height
My needles reach. Sometimes I knit too tight
Or sometimes loose—my gauge is a disgrace.
I knit thee all my nights and all my days,
At frantic speed, by sun and candle-light.
I knit thee with teeth clenched, as if in spite;
I knit thee till my eyes cross, weep, and glaze.
At times I’ve got the fichu-knitting blues
but I will persevere, for I have faith.
I knit thee though on every row I lose
Or gain a stitch --- I’m growing out of breath . . .
Just look at all these holes! I’m so confused--
I swear, though, I will knit thee—to the death